Life when no one cares. Hmmm. There is a type of existence many can call life when no one cares. For many it is a street life; a from pillar-to-post life; a life hooked on drugs or alcohol to numb just enough to get through a day; a life with fake friends while being one as well; a life where predators lurked around every corner hoping to feed off of a young child’s desperation and vulnerability. Yes, we had always known there was another world. It’s called ‘Life Across the Tracks.’
Pamela, at the age of 14, was forced to live across the tracks. A young girl whose protective world was shattered by divorce. All security was washed away in what seemed like seconds. Leaving ‘suburbia’ to live across the tracks in the urban jungle was quite the adjustment. The snooty friends she once had were replaced by subjects, not unlike herself. Disillusioned outcasts.
Such state of mind for a 14 year old girl quickly morphed into feeling alone, forgotten, saddened, with no self-respect and no motivation. The place that was once called home was exchanged for a roach and rat infested one bedroom flat with strangers living above and beneath in the same building. Pamela had few choices; being left with one parent on a downward spiral, still bobbing and weaving from the blows of losing everything, and a sibling taken to the streets to explore a male’s options for survival, Pamela was ill-prepared for what was ahead.
From what she could remember, life had become its darkest at age 15. Perpetual night. Even daytime seemed dark. How could this be? Parenting had become a thing of the past for her guardian, aunt Mae. Going to school was no big deal; go or not go… it was all the same. So, ninth grade was behind her and tenth would never surface because of what came next.
Even though Pamela had a place to lay her head at night, she didn’t feel comfortable; with no key, she had to be out of the house at a certain time and in by a certain time or no entry. There was no warmth of love in that place for her. Now, that may not have been a fair assessment given aunt Mae was in pain and was not whole; she was unable to function as a parent. So Pamela ventured out into uncharted territory.
One day, out of the dark came a face from the past. One who had also ended up on the trash heap of life across the tracks. Zelda. Not having seen her since 8th grade, Pamela noticed a certain maturity in her; this was surprising with her being only 2 years older. Zelda seemed confident and a bit callous in her mannerisms, something that Pamela felt might be necessary to survive this new life. She stuck with Zelda, for a little while.
Pamela allowed herself to be led by Zelda until she learned the ropes. She was introduce to and began to socialize with people who were 18 and older. At first there weren’t any feelings of threat or danger in the circles they frequented. But Pamela found it difficult to be or act like an adult at 15. It was obvious she was young. However, not being a fan of drugs and alcohol, she was able to maintain a level head and was not taken advantage of by the older group.
Later, though, when a form of love presented itself, it was easy for Pamela to succumb to its grip. This was what she had missed her whole life. Attention, affection, and love. She didn’t realize her naivety on the subject rendered her an easy prey to a skillful, older guy to avail himself; and avail he did. Pamela found herself pregnant a few months after her 15th birthday. Once the father found out she was pregnant, he got ghost. What a brave new world she was entering.
No longer being able to hide the pregnancy from her family, and having no other place to turn, Pamela, like the prodigal she was, returned with head hanging down in shame. However, instead of returning to her childhood guardian, she felt her maternal grandmother would be more receptive of her condition. Surprisingly, though the baby in her womb was the first prospective new addition to the family in sixteen years. The future was bright. Everyone wanted Pamela to live with them. Sadly, the father didn’t see the importance of being present. Perhaps the future would have been a little brighter for the child if he had. Never had it entered Pamela’s mind to choose another option to having her baby. Mainly because her family never promoted abortion. The subject just never came up.
A few weeks shy of her 16th birthday, Pamela gave birth to a beautiful girl. Princess.
This true story begins as one depicting the results divorce can have on a family, to include the children; how its ripple effect will have lasting waves of trials and challenges for its subjects. Pamela learned that true love does not leave in hard and difficult times. But at the time, being so young and unlearned, she could not differentiate what was true or false love. She had nothing to compare it to at the time. Now, with the un-challenged decision to have Princess, She began a journey to understand and learn about Love.
Pamela’s life changed at 14 when her security blanket was pulled out from underneath her. She walked through a brief period of feeling uncared for and unloved. Love found her through it all. God’s love was demonstrated by sending a baby to her core family. This was the beginning of life in so many wonderful ways. The Lord transformed another life and drew aunt Mae back into her purpose. A once neutral guardian found sunshine and hope in this new life, Princess. She resumed her place as an Evangelist; and the Lord sent her a great man of God for a new husband. This enhances the meaning to the song by Faith Hill, (click below)
The Lord, brought hope to brokenness by offering new life as was the case for all humanity. God’s own dear Son. Jesus was born for the purpose of freely giving His life as a sacrifice for every broken and sin-sick life; once again giving a new meaning to ‘A Baby Changes Everything’. Pamela had once felt like an outcast; unloved, unwanted and no longer cared for. Having left a community of medium level incomes and manicured lawns for life across the tracks proved to be enriching for Pamela. It would have been easier to be bitter because of disappointments; but she was determined to champion forward. Her future was bright; not without more challenges. But she now felt she was a part of a much greater purpose and later pursued a deep walk of faith in God.
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